Saturday, December 31, 2005
Happy New Year From the Land of Reincarnated Elderly Midgets
We are briefly home between social engagements, so I thought I'd take a few minutes to share a highlight from tonight's dinner at a restaurant where we are considered "regulars":
Sophie: I think that lady had blonde hair last time we were here. Why?
Me: [looking across room at waitress] Yeah, maybe. She might have dyed it.
Sophie: What?
Me: Dyed it. You know, colored it.
Sophie: [nodding wisely] Mmph.
A few minutes later...
Sophie: [in a stage whisper as the waitress approaches] Ask her.
Me: Ask her what?
Sophie: Ask her if she colored her hair.
Me: [to Sean] What PLANET did this kid come from?! It's like having dinner with a 82-year-old nosy old biddy.
# posted by Amanda at 9:03 PM |
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Sunday, December 25, 2005
Merry Christmas, Baby
Confidential to the guy dressed as Santa Claus at the grocery store on Christmas Eve: thank you for taking it in stride when my child rushed you, yelling, "Santa! I pee-peed in the potty AND I stayed dry all day!" It completely made her day when you smiled back and told her, "I knew you could do it!"
# posted by Amanda at 11:18 PM |
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Secrets of Highly Efficient Cat Butts
This morning our 16ish pound cat, Zoe, sat on my laptop and managed to (1) turn off my point-and-click option, (2) switch to a different email folder, (3) select an email from that folder, (4) begin a reply email, (5) add another recipient to the distribution list, and (6) change my Inbox to group emails by conversation. All of that in less than 60 seconds of cat-butt-on-keyboard time. I don't know whether to disinfect my computer or hire the cat's nether half as my personal assistant.
# posted by Amanda at 10:23 AM |
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Thursday, December 15, 2005
For The Second Time* In A Week, A Post That Links To A Wang Reference
For your viewing, um, pleasure, a different kind of extreme snow sculpture. (Aside: someone in my larger community made a very, very anatomically correct snowWOMAN in their front yard a few winters ago. I nearly wrecked my car the first time I drove by it.)
* That Jake Gyllenhaal naked Santa hat dance thing being the first. Oh my, yes, it IS beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
# posted by Amanda at 8:24 PM |
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Monday, December 12, 2005
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
What, you thought we'd forget the traditional holiday humiliation of the dog?
# posted by Amanda at 10:37 PM |
1 comments
Thursday, December 08, 2005
This so-called "straight dude's guide" to "Brokeback Mountain" gave me the giggles. The writer makes some very good points. Personally? The film is already on my list of things to do, but now I think I'm gonna have to see "Jarhead" too. Just on account of that Nekkid Santa Hat Dance.
# posted by Amanda at 12:39 PM |
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Wednesday, December 07, 2005
This Amazing Mental Moment Brought to You by Sleep Deprivation
Note to self: in We Be Burnin', Sean Paul is singing "set we mind at ease", NOT "save the manatees".
Update: in the quest to avoid future lyrical embarrassment, I have found a fabulous reference guide at SlangCity.com. For example, here is a handy translation for possibly the most-horrifically-awful-yet-most-likely-to-get-stuck-on-repeat-in-your-brain song ever, Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps".
# posted by Amanda at 12:02 PM |
1 comments
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Now That the Turkey Coma Has Worn Off...
- Whenever Toby gets a fresh haircut, he has a joyous week-plus-long reunion with his little poodle cheeky bits. It's like his version of Chanukah, wherein he gives AND receives the gift of constant nighttime licking. He was shaved down last weekend so he's now wrapping up what may have been his loudest ever Festival of Licks.
- Incidentally, thanks to the close shave, Sean made the observation that when Toby barks, "his little bunghole protrudes like an oven-stuffer roaster's thermometer." Mmm, chicken, anyone?
- Sean and I saw the latest Harry Potter movie over Thankskgiving weekend. That Daniel Radcliffe is just so darn cute, and I mean that in only the slightest Mrs. Robinson sort of way. Anyway, it was probably the best of the series thus far, HOWEVER, it is not exactly a "kid's movie". Evidently a few parents in the showing we attended need some assistance with grasping the meaning of the "parental guidance suggested" part of the PG-13 rating, so here is a tip: if your child is still using a pacifier, then your child is too young to see this movie.
- Sophie couldn't get enough of Adam Sandler's "The Thanksgiving Song" so we introduced her to the "Chanukah Song". This is only song ever recorded to which both Sean and I know all of the words and can sing along without sounding like drunken walrus karaoke. After several repetitions, Sophie is now fully versed in the Jewish heritage of famous people and can also tell you that "OJ Simpson? NOT A JEW." We are so proud! Immediately following our "Chanukah Song" family singalong, we took Sophie to see Santa Claus. Nothing like a little healthy cultural confusion to go along with the holiday festivities!
- Sophie now says that she wants to grow up to be an actress, singer, and baseball player. If she succeeds, I strongly suspect that there will be crying in baseball afterall.
- When informed that we were listening to a Barenaked Ladies CD, Sophie made a disgusted face and said, "But Mom, I don't LIKE naked ladies, do you?" While this would have been a wonderful opportunity to discuss the beauty of the female form and introduce Sophie to artwork such as Botticelli's "The Birth of Venus" (which for some reason I always think of as Venus on the Half Shell), I choked and said the first thing that came to mind: "Well. What are we talking here: Kate Winslet or Kathy Bates?"
- At the ripe old age of two, Sophie has already received her first phonecall from a boy. There were proclamations of love and goofy grins and a very smitten Sophie. And so the parade of suitors begins... Sean says that the moat will be installed by spring.
# posted by Amanda at 9:32 PM |
0 comments
Saturday, December 03, 2005
This is the "After" Photo
Sophie had her first haircut* today! To be fair, it was only about an inch off the ends, really more a trim than a cut. Hardly a monumental change, but a milestone nonetheless. I was on my knees scrambling to collect Sophie's snipped-off curls the second the stylist walked away.
* At a swank salon** in Annapolis, no less. Little girl is getting very, very spoiled at a very early age, but isn't that what little girls are made for?
** Truthfully, her haircut was free. (You know, 'cause I wouldn't want y'all to think that we're enjoying a reckless life of wanton luxury or anything.) I was there having my 'do redone, and my lovely stylist graciously offered a complimentary introductory trim for Sophie. And Sophie, naturally, was thrilled to be fussed over.
# posted by Amanda at 9:52 PM |
1 comments
Friday, December 02, 2005
Spotted on a whimsically decorated Christmas tree last weekend.
# posted by Amanda at 12:01 AM |
0 comments
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