Monday, October 31, 2005
The Women's Studies Department Called: They're Rescinding My Degree.
Another Halloween, another attempt by Toby to audition for a new family. This time he tried to go home with a family of three kids who trick-or-treated at our house. Ungrateful dog.
Sophie trick-or-treated as a Ravens cheerleader. If you're thinking that is an odd choice for a family that doesn't follow sports* and tries - really, honestly TRIES - to give the kid non-gendered play options, you're right. However, the costume was on sale and came with accessories. Mommy is willing to bend her principles a wee bit for the opportunity to be cheap. And besides, Sophie was all about shaking her pom poms.
* This does NOT mean that we don't enjoy Super Bowl parties! Beeeeer! And food! What's not to like?
Shakin' it:
You want this girl's team to win, don't you? Yes, yes you do.
And a bonus pic of Sophie helping to carve pumpkins yesterday:
# posted by Amanda at 10:22 PM |
1 comments
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Cheese is fun again!
Have I mentioned the Mystery Malaise that plagued me for most of the summer? No? Well, to sum up, every day between 3 PM and 5:30 PM, I would start feeling rather nauseated. No apparent reason for this. It was highly annoying.
A couple of weeks ago, after a few extraordinarily bad bouts of nausea following binges on cheese, I diagnosed myself with a dairy allergy. There was much sadness, especially having just recently discovered fried cheese curds. (If there is one standout reason to go to a State Fair in the Midwest, that, my friends, is IT.) So I decided to cut out [most] of the dairy for a while and see if it helped.
Last night while I was drifting off to sleep, I realized that I had forgotten to take my vitamins for several days. And that I'd been feeling much better since then. And that, gee, the onset of the weird nausea approximately coincided with the switch to this brand of vitamins during the summer.
Oh. DUH.
Folks, this is all neither here nor there except to let you know that this Christmas, my wishlist will be registered at www.WisconsinCheeseman.com.
# posted by Amanda at 7:57 AM |
1 comments
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Hey...
To those of you who somehow know just the right thing to say and to everyone who has called/emailed/sent a message in a bottle to let us know that you're thinking of us, many, many thanks from the entire Cheezleton family.
[Editor's note: comments disabled.]
# posted by Amanda at 8:47 PM |
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Michael Caine quoting Devo in The Weatherman trailer is just...awesome.
# posted by Amanda at 9:11 AM |
1 comments
Friday, October 21, 2005
My brother Matt - yes, THAT brother - recently became a detective after about 5 years on the police force. Upon hearing the news, my cousin emailed me:
Does Matt, as a detective, still have to deal with folks shitting themselves?
*snicker* This is a reference to a perp that soiled himself while on foot chase from police officers, my brother included. Anyway, the answer probably depends on what types of crimes Matt is assigned to investigate. That said, if his jurisdiction is suddenly terrorized by a Phantom Crapper, you can be sure that Detective Darth Flatulence will be on the case.
(Gawd. That sounds like the storyline for a really bad comic book.)
# posted by Amanda at 10:59 AM |
4 comments
Thursday, October 20, 2005
We made up a new song tonight in honor of the fish that we're taking care of this week. I supplied the first three lines and then got stumped for something *ahem* nice to rhyme with blue, so Sophie jumped in with the last line:
Once I had a pet fish,
He was a pretty blue,
He swam all around and around and around,
And then he ate some food.
In case you're wondering where Sophie's songwriting skills come from, CLEARLY she gets it from me. Here are a couple of my greatest hits:
[Sung to the tune of "My Sharona" whenever the kid asks for a banana. Jumping around while singing gives it that little extra je ne sais quois.] Deh-neh neh-neh neh-neh neh-neh neh-neh-neh DEHHHHH-neh neh-neh neh-neh MYYYYY BANANA!!! Ohhhh, my little peely one, peely one!...
[Sung to the tune of "The Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room" when Sophie uses the potty.] In the pee-pee pee-pee pee-pee pee-pee pee-pee room, Sophie used the potty in the pee-pee pee-pee room, she made a pee-pee and she flushed it down, in the pee-pee pee-pee pee-pee pee-pee pee-pee room.
You're jealous of my talent, I know.
# posted by Amanda at 8:49 PM |
4 comments
Thursday, October 13, 2005
I had placed my order and inched one car space closer to the pick-up window, my window still down despite the rain. I heard the drive-thru operator giving the car behind me her standard sales pitch over the intercom: "Like try chick combo?"
"BWANE-ASS DEE-ASS!" the driver chirped loudly in response. I quickly glanced at my rearview mirror to see what kind of a jackass was practicing her high school Spanish in the drive-thru lane. Female in her early 40's, "enhanced" blonde hair, minivan driver. And yes, there was a SOCCER BALL DECAL on the side of the minivan. This oughta be good, I thought, and adjusted the mirror for a better view.
There was a long pause from the drive-thru operator. "Like. Try. Chick. Combo." she repeated, slowly and deliberately.
"I would like a quarter-pounder, POR FAVOR! Medium fries. And a large diet Coke. GRASSY ASS!" Soccer Mom was beaming brightly at what she probably thought was a brilliant show of cultural sensitivity.
"Thank. You. First window, please." The drive-thru operator was audibly unimpressed with Soccer Mom's mad language skillz.
I snickered and pulled forward to hand payment to the drive-thru operator. I would guess her to be fairly new to this country, or at the very least, still kind of new to the English language. She has been working there for as long as I've been a customer, about two years now. We smile at each other, and I drive away, wondering if Soccer Mom will have the grace to be embarrassed when she sees that she was inflicting her bad Spanish on an Asian woman.
# posted by Amanda at 8:22 PM |
1 comments
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Sean had called home to warn me about the dead fawn so I'd be prepared when Sophie saw it during our morning commute. Sure enough.
"What's that?" she asked, turning her head to look at the crumpled body as we drove past it.
"A baby deer got hit by a car, honey," I said gently. There was no doubt that it was dead: our very efficient local buzzards had already starting working away on the poor thing.
"Can we stop and help him?"
"Ohhhh, noooo, it's beyond help now."
"But can't we just tiptoe back and help him?" she implored me, with a quiver creeping into her voice.
"Soph, the deer is already dead. It can't be helped now. It's not just sleeping, it won't get better..." How do you explain the permanency of death to a two-year-old who believes in reawakening, a la Disney's Sleeping Beauty?
She was silent for a few seconds. As we turned the corner out of our development, Sophie - with the sweetly simple trust that only a very young child has - whispered, "His mommy will help him. Then he will be better."
That happened a few days ago. It still breaks my heart.
# posted by Amanda at 9:23 PM |
6 comments
Monday, October 10, 2005
Ha! Not very subservient Stewie.
# posted by Amanda at 9:11 AM |
4 comments
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Borrowed From a Borrower and Sure to be the Next Hot Meme to Wind Its Way Around the Internet
So, this entertaining little game came from Schmutzie who got it from Sweetney. Head on over to Google, type in "your name needs", and see what comes up.
It would seem that I'm much needier than I realized and I probably could stand to lose a few neurotic tendencies:
1. Amanda needs to be loved.
2. Amanda needs a small config change.
3. Amanda needs gnutar.
4. Amanda needs to be recompiled on landon (an ancient but good debian
system) and copied to office (ancient and slow).
5. Amanda needs a mom in her corner with lots of time and attention
to give to her.
6. Amanda needs her local food bank to put food on the table for herself and her daughter.
7. Amanda needs to read Barbara Bush's speech to Wellesley graduates given in 1990.
8. Amanda needs Vip for support and reassurance.
9. Amanda needs nonacademic colleagues as a reality check.
10. Amanda needs a family who will provide her with unconditional love, permanence, security, guidance and support.
11. Amanda needs to find the contact information for all of the people that were supposed to be at the meeting but...
12. Amanda needs to know: Why?
13. Amanda needs a wise friend to tell her that this too shall pass.
14. Amanda needs a home environment, which can combine loving acceptance, and firm limits.
15. Amanda needs to rebuild her life.
16. Amanda needs to relax.
# posted by Amanda at 4:48 PM |
3 comments
Another rainy day, another weekend morning custom made for lounging in comfy pajamas! Hope you're snuggled up someplace warm with good coffee and great music. By the way, I highly recommend Jack Johnson's "In Between Dreams". If you have homemade banana pancakes to munch on, even better!
# posted by Amanda at 8:18 AM |
0 comments
Friday, October 07, 2005
I'm Changing the Title to: "Cheezwerks: Consistently Disappointing Skeezers Since 1999"
What's even worse than people somehow getting to this site via some sleazy search term - say, for example, "granny's sex act" - is that these people frequently spend go on to spend copious time picking through my archived posts. While I admire the, uh, tenacity of their belief that there must be something dirty here SOMEWHERE, they'd get more of THAT KIND of thrill from thumbing through the lingerie section of a JC Penney's catalog.
# posted by Amanda at 11:05 AM |
0 comments
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Um. Did anyone else's mind inexplicably wander off to Rosemary's Baby after hearing about the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes pregnancy announcement?
# posted by Amanda at 11:00 AM |
2 comments
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