Cheezwerks---Well past its expiration date.

If you use any of these pictures without my consent, I will hunt you down and cut you. Got it? Contact me as necessary.

Friday, October 21, 2005

My brother Matt - yes, THAT brother - recently became a detective after about 5 years on the police force. Upon hearing the news, my cousin emailed me:

Does Matt, as a detective, still have to deal with folks shitting themselves?

*snicker* This is a reference to a perp that soiled himself while on foot chase from police officers, my brother included. Anyway, the answer probably depends on what types of crimes Matt is assigned to investigate. That said, if his jurisdiction is suddenly terrorized by a Phantom Crapper, you can be sure that Detective Darth Flatulence will be on the case.

(Gawd. That sounds like the storyline for a really bad comic book.)

# posted by Amanda at 10:59 AM | 4 comments

Comments:

But the funniest part of that particular story was when Matt VERY politely asked Lady Crack Addict, "Ma'am. Would you please put your underpants back on?" before she got in the cruiser. Wonder who had to clean that crap up?

# posted by

Traci : Friday, October 21, 2005 11:46:00 AM

That was actually a totally different and separate crappy perp incident! She was too cracked out to run anywhere.

Apparently the scum in Matt's jurisdiction have major bowel control issues. :P

# posted by

Amanda : Friday, October 21, 2005 12:08:00 PM

I bet the temptation to use his 'special talent' as an interrogation technique gets stronger as he starts encountering tougher suspects. Too bad he already has a reputation for that or he'd have plausible deniability. In most situations I don't think the DA would buy that a detective stank a confession out of a perp.

-S

# posted by

Anonymous : Friday, October 21, 2005 8:14:00 PM

Rest assured, he most definitely does not use that technique. I sure hope he doesn't read any of this.

# posted by

Anonymous : Sunday, October 23, 2005 7:33:00 PM

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