Tuesday, September 27, 2005

It's Lord of the Flies Around Here, and Sophie is Holding the Shell*


• A few weeks ago, when Sophie suddenly decided that she didn't want to have the nail on her right pinky finger trimmed - actually retreating to a corner and regarding me warily while petting her right pinky and saying, "No, you'll hurt it..." - we laughed it off as just another weird phase that would pass quickly. We also made the mistake of snickering to ourselves that Sophie was growing a coke finger. Parents, let this be a lesson to you: NEVER, NO MATTER HOW INADVERTENTLY, GIVE KIDS INTERESTING NEW TERMINOLOGY FOR THEIR BEHAVIORAL QUIRKS. IT ONLY ENCOURAGES THEM. The following day, Sophie cheerfully informed her grandparents that she had a "coke finger". I'm sure it was one of the proudest moments of their lives. The next time I attempted to cut Sophie's nails, she insisted, "Fine, but I'M KEEPING MY COKE FINGER!" So we're pretty much expecting a visit from Social Services by the time Sophie is five.
  
• Sophie happened to see a Washington Post photo of an MS-13 gang member giving the ol' mano cornuto and thought it was just about the coolest thing ever. She has been imitating that for several weeks now. There are probably not very many parents who have to tell their two-year-old to STOP THROWING THE HORNS AND COME GET YOUR PAJAMAS ON.
  
• While at [crowded, busy] BWI airport over Labor Day weekend, Sophie suddenly threw herself on the floor and shrieked, "No, don't beat me! Don't beat me!" This naturally resulted in everybody within earshot glaring at me like I was Joan Crawford wielding a wire coat hanger RIGHT THERE, while I sloooowly backed away from the scene and pretended that I was absolutely no relation to the child flopping around on the terminal floor. GOSH but I enjoy traveling with a toddler!
  
• After we boarded the airplane and had been in flight for, oh, long enough for Sophie to get through three or four very loud Broadway-style renditions of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat", she stopped mid-chorus and acknowledged that the woman sitting in front of us was having digestive problems. I'm sure the poor lady had hoped that nobody had noticed...right up until Sophie's broadcast announcement of "EWWWWW, SOMEBODY STINKS!"
  
• While standing in the buffet line during a brunch cruise on the St. Croix, I eventually realized that what I thought was a delightful river breeze was actually that my kid had lifted my skirt up and exposed my knickers to every passenger on the boat. Is there a slang term that the kids use for that sort of prank on mommy? Punk'd? Or can we still use the Olde English terminology: INVITATION TO BE WRITTEN OUT OF OUR WILL.

# posted by Amanda at 11:44 AM | 3 comments

Comments:

Oh, dear. And here I was looking forward to the next year as Miss P becoming more interactive. Maybe this first year will live in memory as the best...

# posted by  littlepinkflower : Tuesday, September 27, 2005 2:09:00 PM

 

Ah, yes. Lovely toddlers. Mine has got the Adkins sarcasm down pat. Commenting to mommy after I broke my toe, hitting it enroute to grabbing Leah from standing on her rocking chair, "Ooo, Mommy, that's TOO bad."

Yea, on account of you!

traci

# posted by  Anonymous : Tuesday, September 27, 2005 2:17:00 PM

 

"There are probably not very many parents who have to tell their two-year-old to STOP THROWING THE HORNS AND COME GET YOUR PAJAMAS ON."

I know at least six sets of parents who would weep with pride if their two-year olds knew how to throw the Horned Man.

Then again, we're all weirdos.

# posted by  valkyriefire : Thursday, September 29, 2005 8:41:00 AM

 

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