Saturday, February 19, 2005
Sophie is currently in a phase of constant narration. Everything she sees, hears or does is subject to commentary. Her language skills are developing through her observations of the world around her, and most of the time we encourage her by coaxing forth lengthier descriptions.
And then there are the times when observant is NOT WHAT WE WANT.
We decided to go out to breakfast this morning before running errands. The nearest restaurant - nearness being a most important factor these days - is a slightly hole-in-the-wall waterfront establishment with a patronage consisting mainly of charter boat fishers and local residents. In case there's any question, "local" is the polite way of saying "rough-looking dude". People around here seem to be mostly harmless, but uh, we're not trying to pick a fight with them to find out.
About halfway through our meal, a local couple came in and sat at the table directly behind us. The man was a beefy guy - tall and wide - with long, stringy gray hair and a generally pissy demeanor. Unfortunately, as it turns out, he also had Tourette's.
"Bork!"
Sophie whipped her head around to look at the guy. Sean and I held our breath. This is, afterall, the very same child who gleefully informed a lesbian that she had "man's hair".
"Hey! Daddy, there's a MAN back there!"
After a few seconds of silently watching the guy, Sophie turned her attention back to her food. We continued eating.
"Bork!"
*Whip* went the head again. We called Sophie's attention back to her food, our table, the ducks swimming outside the restaurant, anywhere but what was going on behind us.
"Bork! BORK!"
Oh dear god. The borking was picking up pace. By that point, I had started to realize that it would only be a matter of time before Sophie informed the guy that he was BORKING. And that he had lady's hair.
"Bork! Bork-bork!"
I fished cash out of my purse to pay the bill and flashed Sean an incredulous look when he calculated that I was overpaying the tip by 42 cents. (!) Never in my life have I more earnestly meant it when I said keep the change. We scooped up Sophie and fled.
The second we hit the parking lot, Sean and I looked at each other and said, in unison, "BORK!"
# posted by Amanda at 9:06 PM |
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