Thursday, September 30, 2004
And for a change of pace, take a look at some of the natural beauty to be found in Southern Maryland. Side note: the author/photographer used a Nikon Coolpix 995 - the very same camera that we had prior to our Coolpix 4500! - to produce these fantastic digiscope photos.
# posted by Amanda at 7:38 PM |
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Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Another Homeowner's Association meeting last night. We Board members like to think that we make a concerted effort to deal sensibly and sensitively with The Strange Culture of the Native Southern Maryland Redneck amidst which our little neighborhood was built. Interestingly, our enlightened perspective goes right out the window when the rednecks creep a little too close. Last night's hot topic was how to stop non-residents from riding their ATVs in our development's recreation areas and - TAKE THE CHILDREN INSIDE AND LOCK THE DOORS! - occasionally trespassing onto residents' private properties. Fully half of the Board was in support of a proposal to dig tiger pits and wait for the ATVers to fall in.
Really, it's not the thrill of actual HOA issues that keeps me involved, it's the side stories from the Board members themselves. In the course of an average meeting, there is guaranteed to be at least one bizarre comment or conversation having absolutely nothing to do with neighborhood business. Last night, it came up that a few of us have (or plan to get) security cameras for the exterior of our homes. In earlier times, we would have just sat on the porch watching cars go by, but now we can sit on the sofa and watch reality TV AND live streaming video of our driveways! What wonders hath technology wrought!
As that conversational tangent was winding down, one of the Board members advised those of us with wireless home internet connections to make sure that we have proper firewalls. Evidently her husband's day job involves hacking into networks, and, well, it seems that sometimes he likes to practice his skills at home.
If ever it could be said that a conversation came to a screeching halt, this would be it.
And to think, all this time out here I've only been worried about bored rural jackasses coming to entertain themselves with little games of mailbox baseball on our street! Folks, gone are the days when you only had to worry about your neighbors picking up your cordless phonecalls with their police scanners. We rednecks have gone high tech.
# posted by Amanda at 9:42 PM |
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Tuesday, September 28, 2004
There are a lot of things that I want right now, like a pet goat and a Presidential candidate with a more impressively compelling qualification than simply not being the current President, but I'm really wanting the Nikon D70. It would be a few hops up in quality from our current camera, a [circa July 2002] Nikon Coolpix 4500, which seemed acceptable until I saw the photo quality that even slightly newer Coolpixes achieve. Plus, the D70 is rumored to not have the pesky multi-second wait between photos that I'm finding to be increasingly annoying with the 4500.
The D70's pricetag, though... Why, I could buy at least FOUR GOATS for the price of one D70 body and lens! Truthfully, I'm aware that a sexier camera is just that, and not a prescription for becoming a better photographer. Also, there's the whole cycle of needing to buy another new camera when the D70 is inevitably surpassed by a later evolution. At least when goats become obsolete, they can be eaten.
So, the jury is still out on whether a D70 is in my future. In the meantime, maybe I'll finally get around to reading the user's manual for the 4500 and brush up on some photography tips and techniques.
# posted by Amanda at 4:10 PM |
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Friday, September 24, 2004
When asked how I planned to spend my birthday this year - one with a ZERO in the number, AAAAA! - the answers I gave alternated between "It's all about the CAKE!" and "Drunk, despondent and yowling to Morrissey." As it turned out, there wasn't wasn't much cake and no drunk at all, but there has been plenty of Morrissey on the CD player. So much so that I swear my cats are now yowling along in tune.
In case you're wondering, "Suedehead" is currently on repeat play. Pure gospel.
# posted by Amanda at 10:25 PM |
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Huge thanks to all of you who have sent your hugs and warm thoughts over the past few days!
# posted by Amanda at 9:25 AM |
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Friday, September 17, 2004
Oh man. Some gawky teenage kid just came to my door asking for a girl named Rachael. He looked pretty badly crestfallen when I told him that he had the wrong house. I didn't bother to tell him that there's no girl by that name in the entire neighborhood.*
Uh, girls, isn't it a little early in the school year to be that mean? And why'd you have to drag MY address into it?
*I'm on the Board of Directors for my Homeowner's Association. This means that I'm in possession of - say it with reverence, now! - a neighborhood roster and can therefore make good on threats to call wayward kids' mamas. Yeppers, I have become the designated crabby old lady on my street! Stay tuned as I call the police about loitering teenagers and scour the woods for their ill-gotten beer stashes!
# posted by Amanda at 5:45 PM |
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Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Continuing the vacation-related posts: My tiny traveler!
This is Sophie at the Columbus airport yesterday afternoon. See the backpack? Dora the Explorer has a backpack, therefore backpacks are the hot new toddler fashion accessory, at least at our house. See the teensy smile? About 183 people at Columbus and Dulles airports told Sophie that she's the cutest little thing they've ever seen. You can count on Sophie wanting to wear that backpack everywhere we go from now on.
This is Sophie helping me unpack the suitcase this morning. The poodle purse was a gift from cousins Traci, Jeff and Leah. Now we're walking around carrying a backpack AND a purse.
More pictures from our trip will be posted soon. Try to control your excitement!
# posted by Amanda at 8:42 AM |
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Dear Fellow Passengers on Yesterday Evening's Flight from Columbus to Dulles:
I was right there with those of you - and I recognize that this means most of you as it was a very small plane - who looked RIGHT AT SOPHIE in absolute horror when the flight crew announced that we would be STUCK ON THE TARMAC FOR A WHOLE HOUR. It was only supposed to be a one hour flight, who woulda guessed? Believe me, the prospect of confining an active 20-month-old to an 18" by 30" patch of floor space for two hours with only apple juice, airline pretzels and our ability to improvise as entertainment didn't exactly thrill us, either. We did the best we could.
My sincerest apologies to the folks who were subjected to a Cheezleton Family Singalong, with frequent tuneless returns to "I'M THE MAP, I'M THE MAP, I'M THE MAP, I'M THE MAAAAAP!" The kid loves Dora the Explorer. There's no screaming while we're happily singing Dora songs.
Unfortunately, there are only so many Dora songs and Sophie craves variety. Thanks for not snickering when I ran out of "traditional" kid songs and degenerated into the Meow Mix advertising jingle.
To the people in the rows behind us whom Sophie pointed at and classified "...man, man, lady, man...", deepest apologies to anyone she might have mislabeled. In toddler logic, there is no gray area with facial hair: if you have a mustache, then you must be a man. I'm not totally inclined to disagree with that, but I'm sorry all the same if my kid embarrassed you.
To the young guy across the aisle from us who was treated to Sophie's entire naked torso that she kept flashing like a college chick on a quest for the most beads at Mardi Gras, OH SO SORRY that you had to see that. Hey, we're sorry that we had to see it! She can be a strange kid at times, particularly when she's had about a gallon of apple juice in 30 minutes.
To the Belligerent Sports Fan who got the bug up his ass to tell the flight attendant to "Fuck off, bitch! Go fuck yourself!" when she asked that all carry-on luggage be stowed, THANKS A LOT, ASSHAT! You remember when we were taxi-ing out to the runway and the pilot suddenly stopped the plane and came back into the cabin to have a little "chat" with you about your piss-poor attitude? Yeah, I'm sure you do. Well, thanks to you we missed our original window of opportunity for takeoff and got stuck in the aforementioned ONE HOUR DELAY. I am SO NOT SORRY for any irritation or discomfort that you may have experienced due to my active, cranky 20-month-old who was only supposed to be aboard a plane for ONE hour, not two. May the Airline Gods frown upon you and always seat you next to pukers, panickers, intensely smelly people and hordes of angry toddlers with VERY FULL DIAPERS.
Oh, and I hope your team LOSES their next game, asshat!
Regards,
Mama Cheezleton
# posted by Amanda at 7:02 AM |
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Wednesday, September 08, 2004
For those of you who don't believe that there is actual small town life within the radius of the DC Metro area, I present our county phone pamphlet. I've received mail order catalogs with more pages than this.
# posted by Amanda at 6:42 AM |
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Monday, September 06, 2004
Nothing stirs the ol' maternal pride like having one's barely 20-month-old yell "BUTTHEAD!" out the car window in the direction of a totally deserving erratic driver. We're raising Sophie right.
# posted by Amanda at 9:19 AM |
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Friday, September 03, 2004
Here's what happens when a mischievous toddler is left to her own devices with a bowl of squash while Mommy listens to Daddy talk about his new hobby, ALL THINGS OLYMPICS. (Folks, in a few years when the 2004 Olympics become Trivial Pursuit questions, you will want Mr. Cheezleton on your TP team. Trust me on this.)
Did you know that London is the frontrunner to host the 2012 Olympics? We at Cheezleton Manor are keeping a close watch on this situation. Unfortunately, we weren't keeping as close as watch as we should have on the toddler who fingerpainted her leg with her dinner. When we noticed what she was doing, she said, "Ew, SOCK!" like, Oh geez, how did THAT happen? Some OTHER messy baby must have put that pureed squash there.
She immediately went into bathtub. Now, is it just me, or does the look of pure delight on her face make you wonder if that was her plan all along?
Here, Sophie is letting us know that she'd prefer to remain in the bathtub for a while longer, thankyewverymuch! She demonstrates considerable skills in acts of civil disobedience. Anyone in need of a toddler for your protest movement?
# posted by Amanda at 11:45 AM |
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Thursday, September 02, 2004
The latest color scheme change is brought to you by two late-night cups of coffee and the joy of anxiety.
# posted by Amanda at 11:50 AM |
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