Saturday, July 31, 2004
How to spot someone who enjoyed the 1990's:
When you say, "Pack it up...", they finish with "PACK IT IN, LET ME BEGIN...!"
(If you understand what I'm talking about, this is your cue to jump around. You know you want to!)
# posted by Amanda at 10:57 AM |
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Friday, July 30, 2004
About the same time I pulled into the parking lot this morning, I realized that I have absolutely nothing to do at work today. NOT A THING. We just started a dual-methodology survey within the past 48 hours and there aren't any data to analyze yet. On top of this, it has been a boss-free week, or what is commonly referred to as an "in-office vacation" for those of us who are present and accounted for. It's pure rabble-rousing hedonism around here, what with unabashedly eating at our desks* and leaving the toilet seats up**. Rar, we're badasses, fear our employee rebellion!
One of my coworkers*** brought her dog to work today. He's an Icelandic Sheepdog. Picture a border collie with generous amounts of orange fur, or perhaps more accurately, a friendly tricolor tumbleweed with a propensity for silently sneaking up on people. I was calmly sitting in my office reviewing interviews and trailers for "The Village" and trying to decide if this is an appropriate film for a fear weenie who lives in a house surrounded by woods, when - right at a clip of a scene involving someone being grabbed by the ankles - the dog slipped under my desk and rubbed up against my legs. Perhaps you heard a loud "AAAAA!" shriek around 10 AM? Yeah, that was me meeting Mr. B. We're cool now, but he's completely avoiding my desk area.
In other news, I'm now considerably less keen on the plan to build a guest house out in the woods beyond my back fence. We can thank Mr. M. Night Shyamalan (and Mr. B) for that.
* That's a recent policy here at Company Y. Please note that there was a napkin spread across the keyboard while the eating was taking place. Even badasses can appreciate cleanliness!
** Another actual policy here, as specified in the Employee Handbook.
*** It used to be singular as in "coworker", but now there are several of us. Whee! We're plural! We outnumber management! We will stage a coup and it will be unseemly upright toilet seats throughout the office!
# posted by Amanda at 10:57 AM |
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Wednesday, July 28, 2004
In case you're wondering where I've been this week and why I haven't been posting, let me assure you that I'm here and okay, just busy. I'll let you in on a little secret: I just started a nightly exercise regimen, which means less time online in the evenings.
Two recent events led to the decision to put serious effort into toning up:
- Four hours of digging in the garden on Saturday THOROUGHLY KICKED MY BUTT, and
- yesterday Sophie sidled up to me with a wicked smile, grabbed a handful of my thigh meat and said, "CHUB CHUB!" (Mmhmm, isn't that precious.)
So my butt and my thighs have been assaulted and insulted, respectively, and they're mad as hell about it. Ordinarily we'd just go off into a corner to lick our wounds and placate ourselves with another cookie, but the motivational effect of potential public embarrassment - namely Sophie gleefully and loudly CHUBCHUBBING me in a crowded store - is amazingly powerful.
# posted by Amanda at 8:34 PM |
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Wednesday, July 21, 2004
See, this is why I love British humor. Particularly:
The BBC's reporter in Lagos, Sola Odunfa, says that the current scare story is reminiscent of a rumour that spread a few years ago that a handshake could cause sexual organs to disappear.
That rumour turned to tragedy as mobs rounded on people accused of making organs disappear.
Despite the massive public interest, no-one was found to have lost their organs.
(Thanks, Mish!)
# posted by Amanda at 11:30 AM |
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Have you ever seen anything so gorgeous?
This is my favorite of Sophie's portraits by Bill and Anne Holland. They are lovely people, and they captured Sophie's interaction in her world quite beautifully. We couldn't be more thrilled, and hope to work with them again in the future.
Thanks, Anne and Bill!
# posted by Amanda at 7:30 AM |
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Tuesday, July 20, 2004
A day late, a tractor short...
Mr. Cheezleton's 33rd birthday was yesterday. To celebrate this momentous event, I decided to bake and decorate a cake in a lawn care theme. Sean and his lawn have a special bond, and the sight of the man on his tractor mower is a glorious thing. (Just don't call him "Fescue Man"...he doesn't like that so much.)
The idea was to get a tiny toy John Deere tractor and place it atop a cake decorated to look like grass mowed into a border and numbers. Unfortunately, the closest things I could find were some MatchboxTM construction vehicles. Then the green icing turned out kinda melty and the shapes and border that were supposed to look like grass peppered with dandelions distinctly resembled alien ooze. The finished decorated cake looked like a tiny hazmat crew had been dispatched to clean up mysterious green slime that just happened to form a ring with a "33" in it. (Soon to be made into a major motion picture directed by M. Night Shyamalan!)
Ah well. Happy birthday, Sean!
# posted by Amanda at 4:26 PM |
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I will not blog about my job.
I will not blog about my job.
I will not blog about my job.
But, GUH, this place is just begging for me to keep notes along the way and use them to write a book.
# posted by Amanda at 10:58 AM |
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Sunday, July 18, 2004
For some reason, Hilary Duff grates my nerves like no other teen celebrity past or present. How much does she annoy me, you ask? More than even the collective New Kids on the Block annoyed me 15 years ago, back when I was the only 13 year old girl in my class who wasn't swooning over DannyDonnieJoeyJonJordan. Remember them? They were "hanging tough" in their coordinated outfits and used more styling product than a Southern socialite uses to create Big Pageant Hair. Very convincing. Fortunately, their presence was limited to the recording industry and the standard amount of merchandising.
Hilary Duff achieves unsurpassed levels of irritatingness because she is so ubiquitous right now. She's currently hocking a new movie, the soundtrack on which she sings [remakes of Go-gos songs that were originally recorded BEFORE SHE WAS BORN], and of course her clothing line which is oh-so-creatively named "Stuff by Duff".
And now, for a limited time only (GAWD, let's hope!), in conjunction with "A Cinderella Story", Hilary is available to send "hilarious talking E-mail and phone messages to all your friends". Even better news, as one of my friends discovered last night: this service is gay friendly! Been thinking dirty thoughts about those hottie same-sex friends of yours? Now you can let them know, courtesy of Hilary Duff! Also, this would make a lovely parting gift to one's boss if one is burning the bridge on the way out of a job, don't you agree?
Just, you know, suggestions. Because it MATTERS to me that Hilary gets as much exposure as possible.
# posted by Amanda at 12:21 PM |
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Friday, July 16, 2004
Wah. Remind me to send Martha a home-baked care package while she's in the Big House.
# posted by Amanda at 9:50 AM |
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Tuesday, July 13, 2004
So, there's this bag of cookies in my file cabinet drawer here at work. An unopened bag of soft-baked oatmeal raisin cookies. It is calling out to me, BEGGING me to eat the moist, delicious cookies within. What I'd like to do is dive in headfirst and do a couple laps around inside the bag, but alas, my employer recently started enforcing a "no eating at the desks" policy and that most likely applies to inhaling a bag of cookies. True, I have my own secluded office so I could probably eat whatever I want without great likelihood of being caught, but still. I'm a good girl, despite the little devil voice that is trying to convince me to just unhinge my jaw and pop the whole thing in, packaging and all.
# posted by Amanda at 11:53 AM |
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Monday, July 12, 2004
Still uncertain about which candidate will get your vote in the upcoming Presidential election? Here's a handy animated reference.
# posted by Amanda at 6:14 PM |
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Our houseguests are probably just about to board the plane back home after several days of visiting Cheezleton stomping grounds and nearby areas. "Nearby" is a relative term encompassing Northern Virginia, which is a 50-75 mile drive each way across a drawbridge, but nonetheless is where we spent Thursday and Friday. There was much shopping and dining and schlepping of crabby small humans. If anyone knows of an umbrella stroller that doesn't require parents of normal height to have go-go-Gadget arms in order to push the stroller without stooping over it like a geezer shuffling behind a walker, please share that resource.
The sub-theme of the visit was undoubtedly "Manky Waters", parenthetically "Yes, We Want Dysentery!" It started with an innocent decision to let the babies cool off in Old Towne Alexandria's King Street fountain, snowballed into drinking whole buckets of Bay water and culminated in several hours spent at our local Redneck Water Park, where apparently there is discounted admission for persons with five or more tattoos. I'm hoping that any unsavory bacteria we may have picked up are battling it out amongst themselves in violent gang wars that leave no unwanted microbial survivors.
Yesterday we stayed close to home most of the day and rested, to the extent that is possible with a running toddler and a fast crawler. In the evening, we dressed Sophie and Leah in matching outfits (made by my mother) and tried to take pictures. Easier said than done...refer to previous comment about running and fast crawling. Below is my favorite from the evening, the photo that I hereby declare The Official Commemorative Portrait of the 2004 Cousin Visit:
# posted by Amanda at 11:07 AM |
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Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Have I mentioned that my cousin and her daughter are coming to town later this week? I've been trying to get Sophie excited about "baby Leah's" visit, which is a pretty tall order with an 18-month-old who doesn't quite grasp the concept of future events. Sophie did start saying "Ee-ah" over the weekend when we talked about the upcoming visitors. Unfortunately, last night Sophie had an Elmo-decorated cookie and decided that Elmo is coming for a visit, not this "baby Leah" character. What can I say, if Leah had a frosted sugar cookie shaped like her head, Sophie might regard her with the same exuberant adoration that Elmo receives.
(Edible marketing products really are genius. Perhaps Bush should put his face on a cookie and see if it helps his approval ratings.)
Anyway, expect limited posting here for the next week while my time and energies are focused elsewhere. Namely, working on enhancing the amenities of Cheezleton Manor and figuring out what we're going to do for entertainment. Kinda at a loss there, as we live out in the middle of nowhere and the beach is fun for a few hours at best. Current ideas involve a field trip to the local grocery store, which is always a showcase of the finest and latest in redneck couture. There you can find friendly and helpful staff who, when asked if they stock mango chutney, respond "We got chutney, dunno if it's got no MAGGOES in it." We don't have much, but the people watching down here is supreme.
The sprucing up around the homefront is a standard operation preceeding any special visit from friends/family. Usually we like to embark on large-scale home improvement projects that don't quite get finished in time and result in me having a huge stress-related meltdown 30 minutes before guests are scheduled to arrive because the toilet is in the garage instead of in the bathroom (Open House 2002) or there is a gaping hole in a wall (Mingofest 2003). For this visit, we decided to repaint the guest bathroom.
I'm pleased to anounce that the guest bathroom has been fully repainted and outfitted with new hardware and will be beautiful for Traci and Leah's visit! So there, a project completed ahead of the last possible minute. (Quick, check for flying swine!)
We also finally got around to getting some posters framed. The nice young couple who owns the local frame shop are Not From Around Here. We think of them as urban artists eking out a living in Rural Republicanville. They've got moxie! For some reason, when we went to pick up our posters yesterday, it became very important to impress upon them that we are also Not From Around Here. When the conversation turned to WalMart - pretty much the only retail game in town here - and how they refuse to shop there, we excitedly pointed out that We! Don't! Shop! There! Either! And then Sean and I spent the next 5 minutes trying to outdo each other with the socially conscious reasons why we don't do the 'Mart. See how totally cool and non-Republican we are? See how we, too, are strangers in a strange land?
At the end of all that, our new artist friends blinked at us a bit. Then Framing Guy spoke up: "Well, yeah, plus their stuff breaks as soon as you get it home. And the service is bad, too."
Oh. Practical considerations. Yeah, that too. (Gee, see how totally starved for adult conversation we are?)
Ah, another entertainment option when visiting Cheezleton Manor: watching us make complete asses of ourselves.
# posted by Amanda at 9:26 PM |
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Sunday, July 04, 2004
Happy 4th of July!
(Yes, those are tiny American flags on Sophie's dress. We had sparklers, too, and I burned my finger on one of them. It was quite the traditional holiday.)
# posted by Amanda at 10:58 PM |
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Friday, July 02, 2004
A Conversation with a Barely Language-Enabled Toddler
Me: Hey, would you like a baby sister?1
Sophie: *nods enthusiastically*
Me: What should we name her?
Sophie: *appears to be thinking*
Me: Ummm, Ella?2
Sophie: *grins*
Me: Ummm, Amelie?
Sophie: *grins*
Me: What would YOU name her?
Sophie: Baby!
Simple yet practical, with an understated elegance, yes?
1 There are no definite plans to add a baby anything to the Cheezleton household at this time.
2 Not names I'd be likely to choose, just names that for some reason popped to mind at 8:55 PM this evening.
# posted by Amanda at 10:46 PM |
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With promises to be more interesting later today, here is a datageek twist on child development:
"She's a batch processor."---Sean, referring to Sophie's tendency to sprout new teeth in multiples.
# posted by Amanda at 6:45 AM |
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