If you use any of these pictures without my consent, I will hunt you down and cut you. Got it? Contact me as necessary.

Thursday, February 26, 2004

 

Ummmm, some very nice people have done the Heartstats thing (below) and ended up becoming rather confused by the results, so I thought I should just put it out there that it's a tongue-in-cheek thing with no scientific merit (to the best of my knowledge, anyway). Kind of like that "personality quiz" going around LiveJournal a few years ago where the randomly generated results were along the lines of "you are a small stapler".

That being said, I do think Sophie is quite superior, and I'm sure that Spawn v2.0 will be, as well.

# posted by Amanda at 11:34 AM | 0 comments

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

 

Amanda and Sean
  • Are rumoured to have conceived some superior girls.
  • Can't stand to read for the good of the free world.
  • Should invest now in crowd-controlling equipment.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy


I'm thinking that the "crowd control" might be needed on behalf of our "superior girls". Sophie has already proven herself to be quite adept at picking up admirers.

# posted by Amanda at 8:39 PM | 0 comments

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

 

Our wooly Ron Jeremy is at it again. (I'm working from home this week so I'm around to notice these things.)

Oddly enough, the object of his affections is currently Mia, our alpha cat. Now, this is a scrappy 8 pound cat who delivers a smackdown of epic proportions if her feline roommates so much as look at her cross-eyed. Over the years, tubby 14 pound Zoe has lost many large chunks of fur - often along with bits of flesh - by incurring Mia's wrath simply by existing. For reasons unknown, Mia seems to be a willing participant in Toby's interspecies porn show.

That dog is just plain not right. So SO glad that my kid isn't old enough to ask questions about it yet.

# posted by Amanda at 1:44 PM | 0 comments

Monday, February 23, 2004

 

In two separate conversations today, I was forced to recognize that a person with no apparent redeeming human qualities beyond basic nutritional value actually (and unintentionally, I'm sure) provided a huge service to me, and ultimately, to Sophie. Despite the horridness of the situation(s), I am admittedly indebted.

# posted by Amanda at 10:56 PM | 0 comments

Friday, February 20, 2004

 

Ms. Amanda Cheezleton: Jill of All Trades and Master of Cleaning Up After Your Sorry Ass

I'm not a slob by nature, which might strike you as counterintuitive if you've been to my house and seen the Leaning Tower o' Laundry. (I can hear my Mom thinking, "Gee, the one in the laundry room or the one in the bedroom?" Yeah, alright, guilty as charged.) Truth be told, I prefer an organized home, but the current situation has gotten away from me and I'm content to just let it ride for a while longer until the next manic organizing frenzy. I'll let you know when that happens; until then, um, don't open any closets when you're visiting my home.

By contrast, I absolutely require neatness and general cleanliness in my workplace. It drives me insane when, for example, coworkers spill sugar on the office kitchen countertops and don't bother to clean it up. That's just rude. Presumably a large company has or could create HR policies to deal with such a lapse of consideration, although frankly I've never seen the situation get so out of hand that it becomes necessary to formally address it. Usually a snarky comment from other coworkers seems to do the trick.

So, consider the case of working in a small office and sharing an office kitchen with coworkers who are shall we say "free spirited" when it comes to organization. We used to have an office manager who would wash the dishes just as a kind gesture, but since she left in October we've all had to fend for ourselves. Some of us are more conscientious about this than others.

One of my little OCD traits is that I simply cannot reuse a cup without first thoroughly washing it. I also hate to wash dishes, and tend to put it off as long as possible. By the end of the workday, I sometimes have as many as four mugs (and an equal number of spoons) waiting to be washed. Since sometime before Christmas, I have been washing my dishes around someone else's dishes. Specifically, someone else's same five unwashed items that had been in the sink for at least two months. Nasty. Yesterday, I got fed up with this and decided to pull the unclaimed dishes out of the sink.

They had algae growing in them. And on them.

*squick*

Ain't no way I wanted that mess staying anywhere NEAR the kitchen, so I decided to just wash them myself. I boiled water and soaked the dishes. I scrubbed them once, twice, three times. I rinsed them for about 3 minutes each. Then I bleached the hell outta the sink.

Said dishes are clean and fresh and sitting out on the kitchen table now. I notice that they have been repositioned, but not removed. S'okay, they can just sit there and collect dust, because I have completed my last voluntary domestic task at this job.

Everyone now, sing the chorus with me: "I got a Master's degree for this?!"

# posted by Amanda at 12:39 PM | 0 comments

Thursday, February 19, 2004

 

Spotted on a church's outdoor bulletin board this afternoon (bugger, wish I'd had my camera then!): "Where is Hell? Come find out this Sunday." Yep, that's sure to pack 'em in the pews.

# posted by Amanda at 12:46 PM | 0 comments

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

 

Okay, listen up: the deadline for entries to the "Postcards from Penguins" Photo Contest has been extended until 11:59 PM EST on Saturday, February 28th. Why? Well, there was a little email snafu that lead to a bunch of emails being obliterated, and the end result was that two contest entries went *poof*. I feel lame about that and wanna give folks time to resubmit.

So resubmit, y'all.

# posted by Amanda at 12:23 PM | 0 comments

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

 

Howdy, and hope y'all had a great President's Day weekend! Here at Cheezwerks HQ, the weekend was both pleasantly social and potentially "productive".

Love was in the air Saturday night, which is perhaps appropriate since it was Valentine's Day. Less appropriate was the fact that the main Cassanova was none other than our small and supposedly emasculated poodle, Toby. We hosted a gathering of friends Saturday evening, and for reasons unknown to anyone, the sight of ladies in red and pink sent Toby into hormonal doggie overdrive. He attempted to mate with a succession of the sweater-clad arms of our female guests, each rebuff only temporarily distracting him from his purpose. It was like a cross between a creepy butt-dancing nightclub guy and a kid who won't keep his finger out of his nose.

Other than our 10-pound canine Ron Jeremy - who is perhaps only slightly furrier than The Hedgehog himself - the party was a good time. Red velvet cake by special request, cute babies (K's and mine) scattered about hither and yon, and gossip so disturbing it would curl your eyelashes. The upside of life's little insanities is having a steady supply of good cocktail conversation.

Sunday was spent at home cleaning up and recovering. Sophie was on sugar-and-stimuli overload which lead to several meltdowns, or what we refer to as the "Boneless Baby" act. Her reaction to being firmly redirected from a forbidden activity is to suddenly go limp and collapse to the floor in a puddle of cranky toddler, which - as those of you with child experience know - is about as easy to pick up as a satin pillow filled with 25 pounds of rice. We usually just laugh and say something like, "Life is hard when you're only two feet tall, huh?" Then we install more childproof paraphenalia as needed. As of this weekend, the kitchen cabinets have locks.

I was off work yesterday, so Mom, Sophie and I took Ruby into Annapolis for some shopping. Fabric shopping, to be exact. I ended up buying flamingo fabric for stuff for this summer's Mingofest (probably August again, which should be after the bulk of Cicada Season has ended...no need for winged crunchies in the onion dip). Also...I bought a book of baby quilt patterns for the purpose of starting on a quilt for Cheezwerks Junior v2.0. Not yet, but soon. :)

The extended weekend rounded out with visiting with K and swapping cooking (she cooks meat, I bake dessert, we're all happy and well fed), and making plans for the rest of February. Next weekend: photography and wanton material desire!

# posted by Amanda at 9:00 AM | 0 comments

Monday, February 16, 2004

 

Unfortunately, I experienced a massive email problem last week that is still not fully resolved. My webhost is working on retrieving some of the "lost" emails, which includes two penguin photo contest entries. Therefore, the contest winner announcement will most likely be delayed a day or two while this is all straightened out. Sit tight, friends!

# posted by Amanda at 5:33 PM | 0 comments

Thursday, February 12, 2004

 

For about the past month or so, I've been entering a daily sweepstakes for which the odds of winning are 1 in 20. The jackpot is money; second prize is a "colorful wallet". Guess who now owns two rainbow wallets? Goody for me.

I've done the math and am anticipating one or two more wins before the sweepstakes ends. I could very well end up with a bounty of technicolor wallets. Sophie may keep one, but the other(s) must go. No worries, the wallets won't be regifted as prizes for the next Cheezwerks-sponsored contest. However, if y'all know of any needy people who would appreciate a gay-friendly wallet (or three), I'd be happy to donate my surplus.

# posted by Amanda at 12:14 PM | 0 comments

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

 

"Postcards from Penguins" Photo Contest Update: Don't forget that submissions are due by 11:59 PM EST on Saturday, February 14th. (Thank you, those of you who have already submitted entries.) No limitations on the number of photo entries per participant.

# posted by Amanda at 12:26 PM | 0 comments

Sunday, February 08, 2004

 

I took the "Serial Killer or Computer Programmer?" Quiz and scored 10 out of 10. Call me Morticia.

# posted by Amanda at 10:56 PM | 0 comments

Friday, February 06, 2004

 

Earlier this week, I had to call a Florida convalescent home to verify their address, which necessitated first obtaining their phone number through a web search. The guy who answered my call identified the business as a funeral parlor. Stammering over my surprise, I said, "Oh, I think I called the wrong number. I was looking for a nursing home of the same name."

"Yes, ma'am," he drawled. "We have both businesses right here at this location."

I quickly thanked him and hung up the phone, then walked into my boss' office to repeat the conversation to her. We stood there giggling, then clamped our hands over our mouths and murmured, "Oh, that's awful...", then burst out laughing again.

How convenient...AND creepy! Any client who isn't successfully restored to health can simply be pushed from the nursing side of the business to the mortuary across the hall. Dunno about you, but if I was a patient at that particular convalescent home, I'd feel pretty motivated to recover my health enough to get the hell outta Dodge.

# posted by Amanda at 11:23 PM | 0 comments

Monday, February 02, 2004

 

Thanks, Michelle, for this link!

States I Have Visited (not sure about Kentucky):


create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

# posted by Amanda at 12:30 PM | 0 comments

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