Monday, November 08, 2004
I'm in a mood that can best be described as rather chainsaw-esque. Hello, Monday.
Also, I'm home from Las Vegas. Below, some photos from the trip. A couple of them are worth mousing over; figure out for yourself which ones. Rar!
Lodging
We stayed at the Bellagio, which is very tastefully decorated in gilded Italian style and probably sees the nicest hookers of any hotel on The Strip. At times it was nearly impossible to differentiate the paid prostitutes from the tarted-up vacationers. Late one evening while I was waiting for my travelmate outside a bathroom near the lobby, a couple of elderly guests walked by me, looked me up and down and tsk-tsked as they continued along their way. It would seem that - dressed in what I thought was a conservative little plaid skirt and black knee boots and loitering alone - I looked like someone's Soccer Mommy Porn Dream.
The ceiling of the hotel lobby was covered in Chihuly blown-glass flowers. There were botanical displays elsewhere in the lobby and a faint gingerbread scent.
The Strip
There was a very pervasive bad smell - a cross between a stable and the monkey house at the zoo - on the streets of Vegas. I'd guess that it was the stink of sin and vice, but other than the guys handing out prostitute flyers, the drunk philosophers and the Curves conventioneers, people seemed fairly normal. We were 2/3 of the way through the trip before we encountered an Elvis impersonator, who rather humorlessly stated, "I pose for pictures for tips." Nothing was free in Las Vegas.
This sign was affixed to the front of the Flamingo Hotel (or something like that), which was fairly unnecessary considering that every place that could have slot machines DID. I played $45 in quarter slots across the entire trip and only managed to come out $11 in the red. Yessir, high roller in the house!
Paris and New York New York are quite charming and photogenic, as far as Vegas hotels go. If you happen to be in the vicinity of the little Mexican cafe in New York New York and you're feeling a bit parched, the Very Berry 'Rita comes highly recommended.
Much less charming were the MGM lion's cheeky bits, which were all squished up against the glass of the observation tunnel. Yes, we took pictures of that li'l tourist attraction, but I'll spare you the photographic evidence.
The Main Attraction
In case you're wondering about the purpose of the Vegas trip, Ms. LuraFabulous won not only a Vegas vacation for four but also a 2005 Ford Mustang and a "High Horsepower Party" in a sweepstakes sponsored by Quaker State. I was one of her invited guests for the Vegas trip and the party, which included meeting FunkMaster Flex. (Admittedly, I had to Google that to find out that a FunkMaster is not a Dungeons & Dragons thing. My [slightly] younger male coworker was positively aghast to hear me speak of FunkMaster Flex without properly reverent tones.) The "party" was held at a nightclub within the Bellagio, and was actually more like a "guest appearance". No publicity photos, no "hollahs" (that we heard, anyway), just FMF slouching in shortly after midnight and the four of us trying to look awake and enthusiastic while posing for - I KID YOU NOT - snapshots. FMF grabbed me first as soon as photos were mentioned, which I initially chalked up to me looking cute in the aforementioned Soccer Mommy Porn Dream outfit. However, after reviewing the photos I realized that he probably wanted me next to him in pictures because I AM THE ONLY PERSON SHORTER THAN HE IS. One would think that a FunkMaster would be taller than that...
Nonetheless, as you can see in the picture, my left boob [accidently] touched the greatness that is FunkMaster Flex. It will be posing for pictures. For tips.
# posted by Amanda at 11:55 AM |
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