Sunday, August 29, 2004
Today we went to a festival held on the boardwalk of a nearby town. The main attractions were live music, vendors, rides and carnival food (Bavarian nuts! funnel cakes! processed meats on sticks!), but the fringe benefit was checking out the native wildlife. Maryland beach people are truly a breed unto themselves. At the booth for the local Arts Council, their Executive Director looked me over and said, "You look like you have an appreciation for the arts. We'd love to have you join us." All that from a black shirt and white capris? Right-o. I think what she meant was, "I notice that you have all of your teeth and aren't wearing acid-wash jeans. Slim pickin' down here, but we'll take what we can get."
The highlight of the afternoon happened as we were on our way out. We walked towards one of the band tents and noticed a large crowd gathered around the dance area. Not in the dance area; AROUND it. Very deliberately giving it a wide berth, yet positively glued to the action.
What were all these people watching so intently?
OH. MY. GOD. It was a vision in pink hibiscus print polyester, dancing his little heart out to a cover of Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock & Roll". (Side note: I seriously think the middle-aged rednecks would riot if this song wasn't played at every damn outdoor festival around here.)
The guy had moves like this:
And white patent leather boogie shoes:
Song genre made no difference. Here, he's getting down and dirty to the Booty Call!
Just when you thought you'd seen enough to make you want to wash your eyeballs, he unbuttoned his shirt.
And then the shirt went missing completely. Note the gold medallion. (Reader poll: What's worse, a shirtless guy with chest hair so lush and thick he could put a barrette in it, or a shirtless guy with AN EERILY HAIRLESS DROOPY MANBOOB CHEST? Please, email me, I'd love to know your opinion.)
And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...oh, but it CAN! It's SPIRIT FINGERS!
I'm ashamed to admit that we gawked through the "Booty Call", the "Electric Slide", the "Cha Cha Slide" and the "Macarena". I think I lost a little bit of my soul today. Feeling grateful for small miracles like not having to see "Jump Around" danced out by Mr. BoDangles.
# posted by Amanda at 10:16 PM |
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