Friday, June 04, 2004
So we did the dinner cruise thing with Sean's new coworkers and associates. It's a fairly common entertainment option in port towns: big enclosed boat, dinner seating for a couple hundred people, buffet line featuring nondescript foods, small dance floor and DJ Snoop Drippy Droop spinning standard "party" tunes. Like the "YMCA", so you can see how many people become completely incapable of spelling Y-M-C-A after a few watery drinks. If that doesn't sound like the setup for a rockin' good time, consider that everybody with a cruise ticket is all mixed in together, including large groups and parties.
If you've ever had to ponder the question "With whom would you LEAST like to be stuck in a room?", I guarantee you that HANDS DOWN the correct answer is five dozen 14-year-olds with DUCKBILL SHAPED KAZOOS.
As if barely-teens in mass quantity isn't annoying enough, some dimwit had to go and give the field-trippers NOISEMAKERS. Apparently Baltimore's Inner Harbor now has duck tours, whee! You too can go on a duck tour and receive your very own souvenir bright yellow kazoo! More good news: there is absolutely no intellectual or social competency level requirement for owning and operating a kazoo. They're great fun to use in SMALL ENCLOSED AREAS! You and all of your friends can HARMONIZE TOGETHER with your kazoos, or, for a TOTALLY CHAOTIC NOISE EXPERIENCE, you can all just blow on them randomly! Ha ha! Hey Beavis, let's watch the other dinner cruise patrons' eardrums explode!
All I have to say is THANK GOD FOR ADHD. Lack of an ability to focus on anything for extended periods of time probably saved some kids' lives that night. After a few minutes of the Kazoo Symphony, the kids moved onto new activities. Mainly, running up and down the steps to the top deck and finding out what happens when you spit into the wind. I got the distinct impression that many of the boys had outgrown their brains.
Take note: this is the future of America. And it has a kazoo.
# posted by Amanda at 4:06 PM |
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