Friday, October 31, 2003
I'm doing pottery again, and absolutely adoring it. Production efforts are currently on the sporadic side since my pottery mentor is a busy, busy lady, but so far there are 3 very nice medium-sized bowls awaiting sanding, glazing and firing.
Totally in love with crystaltone glazes.
# posted by Amanda at 1:21 PM |
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Tuesday, October 28, 2003
Halloween is not my holiday. This is in no small way related to the fact that Mom always replaced our unwholesome trick-or-treating loot with all-natural candy from the health food store. Mom's exchange rate seemed a bit unequitable, too: in her bizarre sugar accounting structure, two "fun size" candy bars was an even trade for one piece of rice taffy. Have I mentioned that "healthy candy" was a cruel joke during my 1980's childhood?
Although I do participate in handing out candy---REAL candy, jam-packed with artificial color and flavor goodness---I've never been part of the wanton greed of Halloween. After years of doling out sugary treats to these graspy little punks, this year I have decided that certain criteria must be met in order to be on the receiving line of my *cough* generosity. The following is my notice to would-be trick-or-treaters in my neighborhood:
I have ten bags of candy, and no innate tendency towards sharing. Please play along:
- You must be less than this tall to successfully trick-or-treat here. If you can drive yourself around to trick-or-treat, you can drive yourself to the store and buy your own damn candy.
- If you are trick-or-treating for yourself AND you have your own child, seriously consider making this your last participatory Halloween.
- I swear to god, if you ask me if I have anything bigger than fun size candy bars, I will reach back into your bag and extract what I have just given you, plus some.
- If I like your costume, you get more candy. That's just the way it works.
- If you're not wearing a costume, you had better be prepared to perform an interpretive dance or something else that will impress me enough to make me want to give you candy.
- Adults, don't even think about using your costumed infant as a ruse to get candy for yourself. I am not that dumb, and you will find a jar of strained peas in your goodie bag.
- The same goes for costumed pets, except that it will be rawhide in your bag. Unlike me, my dog is more than willing to share his surplus treats.
And, lest you think that proper manners aren't required on Halloween, I suggest that you say "thank you" in response to receiving candy. Please remember that I am on the Homeowner's Association Board, I know where you live, and I can convince your parents to sign you up to participate in Community Cleanup Day.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
# posted by Amanda at 12:38 PM |
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Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Just added to this year's wishlist: being 100% DONE with Good Ol' Company X before January 2004.
Some background info on Company X: this is a company that for years was dogged by a web site whose URL was "actualcompanynamesucks.com". Thousands of disgruntled contracted professionals nationwide would probably rate Company X just under Microsoft and McDonald's as far as evil corporate empires are concerned. (I feel pretty comfortable saying that, considering that I managed the satisfaction surveys of said disgruntled professionals, for which the responses more or less comprised a dictionary of hostile language.) Regardless of how bad things are for clients and contractors of the business, Company X is 10 times more ineffective and just plain incompetent when it comes to dealing with its own employees. Particularly this [former] employee.
Let's recap the recent past personal fun and games with Company X. In January 2003 I began 12 weeks of maternity leave, and returned to work full time at Company X on March 31st. In early June, I left Company X entirely. Since that time, I have had to repeatedly email and call 5 or 6 different people in the Human Resources department to resolve various issues, including "helping" them calculate my final paycheck, which I received months after leaving Company X. This should have been the last step, enabling me to permanently wash my hands of Company X. In a rare display of optimism, I boxed up my employment paperwork. (This includes the letter from Human Resources that is dated the same day I returned to work after leave, which was mailed to me several days after I returned to work, and which states that if I did NOT return to work by April 1st, 2003 my employment would be terminated. Simply picking up the phone and calling my desk to see if I was, in fact, already back on the job would have been an uncharacteristic show of common sense.)
Completely out of the blue, about a week ago I received a bill from the group universal life insurance carrier contracted through Company X, informing me that I owed the entire cost of the coverage from April through December 2003. Puzzled, I called the insurance company and - sure enough - Company X had not paid any portion of the cost of the coverage. Not only had they not paid the premium, my contributory payment also was never applied towards the insurance coverage. I dug through my Company X paperwork and verified that HR Payroll consistently deducted my GUL contribution from each paycheck until my final one in June.
What does this mean? Well, primarily it means that Company X had stopped providing one of the benefits in which I was enrolled as a term of my employment, even though they were deducting money from my paychecks for my contribution. About $14.50 of MY MONEY is A.W.O.L. It might be sitting in a Company X bank account somewhere, or it might have been used to purchase cappucinos for those hardworking HR trolls, who knows. The point is that now I have to call Company X HR again, and probably spend the next several months being transferred around in hopes of finding someone who (1) wants to help, (2) is capable of basic investigative skills and (3) can correctly identify and embark on the appropriate course of action to unfuck this situation.
Outlook=not encouraging.
# posted by Amanda at 11:35 AM |
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Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Well, look what we found at the pumpkin patch! It's little Leo Duckett, all dressed up and ready for his first Halloween. Congratulations, Woody and Ginger!
Congratulations are in order for a few other folks for various Life Events, so congrats to: Sheila and Erik, Doug, Jennifer and Jimmy, Holly and Chris, and "Medium Jim" and Heather.
# posted by Amanda at 9:31 PM |
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Despite having been informed that IS a name, and a whole given name rather than a nickname at that, my grandmother continues to put quotation marks around Sophie. It's really getting old.
(I might mention that, at the last family event, TWO family members verbally screwed up on Sophie's name. Most blatantly incorrect: "Sadie".)
# posted by Amanda at 11:12 AM |
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Thursday, October 16, 2003
While my coworker nibbles on organic carrot sticks, I'm sitting here thinking about the nearest drive-thru window and exactly which magnificent deep-fried menu item I 'd like to receive today. (It's like Christmas in a little paper bag!)
Later, while she's enjoying her whole-milk all-natural yogurt produced by cows untainted by artificial growth hormones, I'll be pondering whether it's truly bad manners to lick at the grease spots on the empty fried chicken box if nobody sees me do it.
Then, as the afternoon stretches on and she goes to make herself a cup of non-caffeinated green tea distributed by a small independent company, sales proceeds from which probably support indigenous peoples in impoverished Asian tea-growing communities, I'll make myself a cup of supercharged coffee brewed from the finest South American beans that greedy North American business practices can produce.
And, frankly, I won't feel bad about any of it.
# posted by Amanda at 11:51 AM |
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Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Oops, forgot one. This picture was taken at a gas station/truck stop in London, Ohio as we headed out of town. The reflection of the letters caught my attention.
# posted by Amanda at 10:07 PM |
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Monday, October 13, 2003
I'm rewarding myself for finishing the Farm Science Review photo album by indulging a really disgusting habit: digging into a carton of Heath Bar ice cream, eating only the toffee pieces, and leaving the unloved chunks of vanilla ice cream for someone else. (Sorry, Sean!)
# posted by Amanda at 10:13 PM |
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It's all about the baby right now.
Sophie had her nine month checkup last Friday. She's still above average in length and weight. No teeth yet, but I've I've been assured that they're there.
The pediatrician asked a battery of questions about what Sophie can do, and it seems that she's exactly where she needs to be in motor skills and language development. It does bother me a bit that when my child says "ma" she's consistently referring to the dog and not to me, but HEY, she says it! Positive score on that developmental milestone!
# posted by Amanda at 11:37 AM |
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Tuesday, October 07, 2003
Maybe not going to hell but definitely not earning cool points for: using the office dog's potty needs as a convenient excuse to go outside and ogle the painter dude (a.k.a. Johnny Hotpants) again, and promptly losing the dog.
# posted by Amanda at 7:14 PM |
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